Having a loved one in the throes of their addiction can be frightening, confusing, and emotionally difficult for families. The struggle to help a family member overcome addiction while maintaining healthy relationships can seem almost impossible. However, effective communication in families dealing with addiction is not just possible – it’s critical for someone’s recovery journey.
But how do you start the process of improving communication skills with your loved one? Here are some things to keep in mind to break down barriers of communication and foster a sense of support during your loved one’s addiction recovery journey.
Meeting Someone Where They Are
Most people have encountered the phrase, “Meet people where they’re at,” when trying to help others in addiction recovery. But what does this mean, and how can it help improve communication in families dealing with addiction?
Meeting someone where they are means to compromise and focus on harm reduction strategies as opposed to pushing an individual towards abstinence. This approach focuses on understanding and accepting the current state of the person struggling with addiction while providing support for their recovery goals.
For instance, your loved one might tell you openly they are going to use or are having thoughts of relapse. There are ways you can help, such as:
- Encouraging them to engage in inpatient treatment or detox
- Help guide them to resources that fit their lifestyle, such as outpatient or partial hospitalization treatment options
- Offering to attend support groups with them
- Listen when they need someone to listen, and engage when they need someone to engage with
While these communication strategies might seem like you are enabling rather than supporting, it is essential to understand the difference.
Support Vs. Enabling
Enabling is characterized by protecting someone from the consequences of their drug use and worsening their addiction. On the other hand, support focuses on acknowledging and addressing (or trying to address) underlying substance abuse issues.
Supporting your loved one means not ignoring or downplaying their struggles with addiction while also not controlling their decisions. It’s a fine line that requires open communication and understanding boundaries. Boundaries can be different for families, like not allowing drug use in the household or not giving financial support for drugs. Not setting boundaries can quickly lead to enabling behaviors.
Other examples of poor communication in families dealing with addiction that could constitute as enabling include:
- Minimizing your loved one’s addiction issues
- Actively using or encouraging substance use with your loved one
- Covering up or making excuses for their substance use
- Avoiding talking about addiction issues
- Denying there is a problem to begin with
If you’ve noticed any of these behaviors in your communication with your loved one, it’s important to stop as soon as possible and seek out support for both yourself and your loved one.
Seeking Support and Improving Communication in Families Dealing With Addiction
Even if you’ve identified enabling behaviors in your communication with your loved one, it’s never too late to change and improve the dynamic of your relationship. Here are some steps you can take to seek support and enhance communication with a loved one in the throes of their addiction.
Refrain From Blame and Guilt
Addiction is riddled with stigma, from blaming the person with substance use disorder to believing they can suddenly tackle their disease by willpower alone. Unfortunately, the blame game and shifting responsibility to someone with addiction can cause more harm than good.
If you’ve found yourself angry, blaming, or guilty for your loved one’s addiction, it may be time to seek out a support group, group therapy, or individual therapy to help you learn more effective communication strategies. This can help create a safe space for both you and your loved one to openly discuss addiction without fear of judgment or shame.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening involves fully concentrating on what the other person is saying and attempting to understand their perspective without interjecting your own thoughts or judgments. It also includes reflecting back on what they’ve said to ensure understanding and validation.
When communicating with a loved one dealing with addiction, active listening can help build trust and foster open communication. It’s never a good idea to reject or invalidate someone’s feelings, and active listening can help prevent this by allowing you to understand their perspective and validate their emotions.
Set Boundaries
While supporting a loved one through addiction, it’s essential to set healthy boundaries for yourself. These boundaries may include refusing to enable addictive behaviors, establishing consequences for breaking agreements related to sobriety, or taking breaks from interacting when necessary for your mental health.
Setting boundaries is never easy, so if you find yourself having difficulty, speak with a support group or mental health provider. Addiction counselors have the experience and knowledge to help you set healthy boundaries that benefit both you and your loved one.
Help Your Loved One in the Recovery Journey
Making the decision to support your loved one during their addiction recovery journey can be daunting. Fortunately, The Berman Center is here to help. Our staff are on standby 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to provide your loved one with the support they need to heal from their addiction. Our mix of intensive outpatient treatment and partial hospitalization programs in Atlanta are customized to meet your loved one, and you, where they are. We believe that everyone deserves a tailored, individual approach to recovery, and our programs reflect that.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. We’ll find a treatment program that’s right for you or your loved one, engages them fully during recovery, and gives them the tools they need to live a sober life.
