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Empowering Steps on How to Break a Trauma Bond in Recovery

As human beings, we naturally seek connections with others and want to form relationships. In relationships, we seek to love and support our friends and partners and will do anything if they are in need. However, there are some relationships where one party does not have the other’s best interest in mind. These relationships are called trauma bond relationships, which are toxic, sometimes abusive, and create profound feelings of hurt and neglect. If trauma bonding occurs in recovery, those recovering often relapse and experience deeper issues that are difficult to untangle.

In this article, we will learn how to break a trauma bond in recovery. We will also answer the question of what is a trauma bond relationship and learn how to heal from a trauma bond relationship. If you need drug addiction and mental health treatment, call The Berman Center right now. We are the premier outpatient mental health center in Atlanta, offering evidence-based treatment programs and experienced support that will help you heal and grow. Call us today, and let’s work together to build a new and healthier you.

What is a Trauma Bond?

Simply defined, a trauma bond is a relationship where a person goes through periods of intense love with someone followed by periods of neglect, abuse, and mistreatment. This type of relationship cycles between being valued and being mistreated. This cycle creates a strong chemical and hormonal bond between the abuser and victim over time. These strong bonds make it hard for people to leave a trauma bond relationship because the periods of feeling loved and valued keep people locked in, even though they will experience times when they are mistreated and experience cruelty in the relationship.

Trauma bonds are most seen in intimate and romantic relationships but are also present in platonic relationships as well as between friends and co-workers. Trauma bond relationships are also difficult to break away from because it often takes months and even years for people to realize they are in a toxic relationship. Anyone can develop this form of relationship, but some are more vulnerable to being a victim in a trauma bond relationship. The common risk factors include the following:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of family support
  • History of abuse as a child
  • Poor overall mental health
  • Unresolved trauma

Are You Stuck in a Trauma Bond Relationship?

  • Do you feel that you are stuck in a trauma bond relationship? The following are the common warning signs of these troubled relationships:
  • You want to leave the relationship, but you feel such a strong connection with the other person you stay with them knowing the relationship isn’t good for you.
  •  You are in a relationship that you don’t want anyone else to experience.
  •  The person who is toxic in the relationship reminds you of a parent or other person in your past who was abusive.
  • You justify and rationalize your partner’s behavior.

Learning How to Break a Trauma Bond

Trauma bonds are difficult relationships to break and the process of removing yourself from these relationships takes time. If you are looking to learn how to break a trauma bond, it is important to educate yourself on trauma bonding and abusive relationships in general. When you educate yourself, you can see the issues of your relationship clearly and can act. It is also helpful to seek the help of a therapist who specializes in trauma bonding. The therapist can help you break free of your trauma bonding relationships and they can also help you address and heal any unresolved trauma you experience.

While difficult, it is best to break off contact with the “abuser” in your relationship. It will be difficult to adjust at first, but after some time you will feel a sense of stability and calm. Additionally, you need to focus on creating healthy bonds through support groups, volunteering, and creating healthy friendships. If you were in a romantic relationship, take a break from dating until you feel healed.

Break the Hold of Trauma Bonds With Help From The Berman Center

A trauma bond relationship is exhausting physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you are caught in the grip of a trauma bond, today is the day you get help. As a leading resource for mental health treatment in Georgia, The Berman Center features evidence-based therapy and services that are effective, proven to work, and personalized to meet your needs. We also offer quality substance abuse and dual diagnosis treatment programs to help you heal and grow. Reclaim your health and happiness with help from The Berman Center.


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